The Engineer’s Identity
Who are you? Whose are you? Who are you becoming? Who does God want you to be? What adjectives best describe your present and future you? How do you want others to perceive you? Who are your role models? Who have been your key supporters?
Can you answer these questions? Your personal identity is the way that you see yourself and is closely related to your self image. It is very important to you because it will affect the way you feel about yourself and how you behave in challenging situations. The most important thing to realise about your personal identity is that it can be close to how other people see you in which case you will be at harmony with the world and others around you or it can be very different from how others see you and so you may feel you are misunderstood and you feel life is battle to make others appreciate who you are.
One of the biggest problems job seekers have with their personal identity is that they may not accept or may be blind to who they are and what they believe. Most of us today suffer from this to a certain extent because society seems to want us to behave and live in ways which may not be exactly what we want.
The first step towards higher self-esteem is to be clear about who you are and what you believe. This is the goal of self-awareness. Before you can improve your self-esteem or indeed make any positive changes to your job search you need to devote time to this form of self-improvement. Therefore, understanding your personal identity is a necessary first step and only after this step can you think about how to change your job hunting positively.
Your internal identity – your personality and character make you unique and you should value them. Focus on what positives you have in these two areas. What do you think are good aspects in your personality which help you or attract job opportunities to you? There is always something positive you can find if you look carefully. If you have a friend then what do you think they like about your character? Improvement here will raise your self-esteem a lot.
How you see yourself in relation to others – this is related to your status as you see it. If you believe you have very low status you will suffer low self-esteem but if you feel you have a high status this will help you. The best possible way to feel happier and improve your self-esteem is to accept yourself as you are and based upon your values focus on your own position with respect to where you want to be. Try not to compare yourself to others. Those who are very competitive do this all the time and are unhappy people with low self-esteem. Your own standards are more important than other’s so follow what you want and believe.
How you identify yourself in terms of your job – don’t make the mistake of thinking that a job defines who you are it is only what you do and nothing more.
Your personal goals – these say a lot about who you are and the values you hold but if you want to improve your self-esteem you should have goals that move you closer to being who you really are.
How can your personal identity hurt or help you?
Once you understand who and what you are and what values you hold dear you will be able to make better decisions which move you closer to where you want to be. I believe that your self-esteem depends on you being yourself and if you live true to your nature and values you will help yourself but often we go after things that we persuade ourselves will be good for us. Ignoring who you are is a recipe for pain and misery. Follow your personal identity and let it guide you to your job search.
What exactly is respect? It’s the sense of worth or personal value that you attach to someone. Respect is an overall evaluation you give someone based on many factors – what that person is doing with their life, how they treat you and others, whether they are honest or not and if they seem to consistently do good things, large or small, for other people. In short, respect is a positive view that you form of how someone is living their life. On the other hand, self-respect is your view of how you’re living your life.
It starts with self-respect.
Respecting yourself means giving and defining your own worth and value as a human being. Think about this: if you do not respect yourself, it will be more difficult for you to respect anyone else. So it all begins with self-respect.
But how do I go about respecting myself?
Below is a list of ideals that are fundamental to self-respect. Once you begin to genuinely adopt and develop these, you’ll be on your way to developing a healthy level of self-respect. Certain ideals have the greatest impact on your level of self-respect and you’ll have to determine how that quality will be deployed within your life.
Being an Honest Person…You must be honest with yourself and with others.
Valuing Academics and Other Forms of Education…A vital key to self-respect is knowledge.
Understanding the Impact of Proper Nutrition/Exercise…In order to be your best, you must feel your best.
Understanding Financial Responsibility…Financial responsibility is a cornerstone to independence.
Learning to Listen…Part of learning self-respect involves respecting the beliefs of others.
Understanding the Value of Good Manners/Proper Conduct…Knowing and exercising good manners and proper conduct will make you feel good about yourself, and, in return, others will respect you for your good manners and proper conduct.
Learning to Accept Personal Responsibility for Your Own Conduct…Part of being a respected person involves taking responsibility for your own actions.
Learning When and How to Apologize…Accepting responsibility involves formally apologizing for wrongdoing and striving to make amends.
Learning to Understand Which of Your Friends are Good Influences and Which Ones are Bad Influences…We must learn to emulate those who are good influences and ignore those who are bad influences.
Having Important Goals and Plans for Reaching Them…Each goal you set and attain, you will gain strength to challenge yourself a little more; the more goals you attain, the more your self-respect will grow.
You should address each of these ideals within your own life in order to carry a well-rounded respect for yourself. If you haven’t done so already, start working on each and every one of them. Keep a journal to track your progress. And, as always, if you need help with any of them, turn to a valued listener for help.
Showing Respect for Others.
Just like with yourself, when you demonstrate respect for others, you give value to their being and ideals. In addition, you’ll make someone feel good by granting them respect, provided, of course, that it’s something that they deserve.
One of the best ways to show respect for someone is to truly listen to another’s point of view. Obviously, we’ll not always agree with one another on every topic (and you should never adopt a point of view with which you do not agree), but we should allow each other to have and express our own views – regardless of whether we agree with them or not.
“To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.”— Bono
Keep this in mind: you owe everyone a basic level of respect for being a fellow human being, but your level of respect for others will vary from person to person. Just like your self-respect will grow as you master the ideals discussed above, your level of respect for others will vary depending upon your view of them and their own self-respect.
There’s nothing wrong with affording some people greater respect than others. You should be kind and polite to everyone – no question about that. But for obvious reasons, some of us simply deserve more respect than others. For example, I think we would all agree that a consistently honest person deserves more respect than a habitual liar. So, always be kind, polite and afford a basic level of respect for your fellow man, but you shouldn’t afford beyond basic respect to those who aren’t working on ideals you believe to be important.
Respect is one of mankind’s most noble sentiments. The highest levels of respect are always earned – never given. This is true of self-respect as well as respect for others. Before granting the highest level of self-respect or respect for others, make sure the person is worthy of the honor.
“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.”—Laurence Stone
Be disciplined and achieve what you want.
Many of us struggle with self-discipline. Why? After all, when we look at what we want to do or become from a logical perspective, it’s obvious that we should take actions that are aligned with our desires. So why is it so much easier to give in and do things that we know are counterproductive (including doing nothing)?
Why is it easier to open the fridge and reach for the fried chicken than to make a salad? Why is it easier to sit on the couch instead of going for a run? Why do these feel so good initially and then we regret them later? Because they’re habits, and habits are meant to be easy, pleasurable and comfortable, even if they go counter to our goals.
The Efficient Mind
The mind is incredibly efficient. Much of your life is spent performing habitual actions and thinking habitual thoughts. Whether it’s a thought habit or physical habit and whether it’s desirable or not, you become extremely efficient at it the more you do it. It becomes very easy and doesn’t require mental effort. You get really, really good at your habits – and that’s a good thing! Otherwise, imagine the mental effort it would take to tie your shoes, read, walk, or any of the many actions you perform every day. You’d be totally overwhelmed and you wouldn’t have the energy to learn anything new which will help you find your perfect career!
But habits also keep us in a rut, so sometimes we have to give ourselves some tough love and use discipline to get rid of habits that don’t serve us.
Breaking a thought habit or physical habit requires discipline as you imprint a new habit into your mind. You’ll want to revert to your old habits because whatever new idea you’re imprinting can be difficult in the beginning. You’ll want to listen to the voice in your head that says, “it was easier the old way” and oh, that voice is so tempting! The good thing is, it doesn’t take forever to create a new habit – a disciplined effort for 30-60 days will imprint it. When you look at the big picture, 1-2 months creating a great new habit isn’t much! If you can commit to being impeccably disciplined for this short amount of time you will see amazing results!
Benefits of Discipline
With self-discipline, you can achieve anything you want! With self-discipline, you can:
Take action on your goals instead of procrastinating by checking your email just one last time…
Choose to respond calmly when someone makes you angry, instead of letting it get to you.
Take charge of your life instead of letting everyone else run it for you; that means having the discipline to make changes in yourself so you can do what needs to be done.
Achieve the goals you want, not the ones you settle for. EVERY goal requires discipline.
Daily self-discipline is the key to success in anything!
“Only the disciplined are truly free. The undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions.”—Stephen Covey, The 8th Habit
“Your ability to discipline yourself to set clear goals, and then to work toward them every day, will do more to guarantee your success than any other single factor.” —Brian Tracy
Tough love doesn’t mean beating yourself over the head if you do something wrong. It means lovingly yet firmly guiding yourself to adopt thought and behavioral habits that are in alignment with your dreams.
Love yourself and remember how important your goals are to you. Whatever you’re tempted to do that goes against what you know is the best path for you, remind yourself that the end result will give you even more pleasure than this temporary satisfaction.
Know that every emotion passes very quickly; when you feel the urge to do something you know you shouldn’t, feel the emotion within you for a minute or two; don’t act on it, just observe it. The feeling will pass; and the second it does, congratulate yourself for not giving in! Then get busy and divert your attention.
Change your attitude. Look at all the growth you’re undergoing as a positive challenge. Reward yourself when you make progress. Little successes build on themselves!
Making self-discipline enjoyable. Loving yourself and looking toward a pleasurable goal, recognizing the temporary nature of emotions, adopting a different attitude and self-awareness make it easier to maintain discipline and make some fabulous changes in the way you think and behave.
In your quest to land your dream Mechanical Engineering job, the first step is not to send resumes here and there. You must first discover your full potential. You must know how to succeed, you must know how to improve yourself, you must increase your self-esteem, you must have self-respect and you must develop self-discipline.
CHAPTER 1: THE INCREDIBLE HUMAN POTENTIAL
CHAPTER 2: EMBRACE THE POWER OF LAW OF ATTRACTION
CHAPTER 3: THE JOB SEEKERS’ HEALTH AND WELLNESS
CHAPTER 4: RIGHT TOOLS, RIGHT ATTITUDE AND SKILLS
CHAPTER 5: DO NOT DEPEND ON YOURSELF
CHAPTER 6: PROVIDE VALUE TO OTHERS FIRST
I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength.
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